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Standing up for my son

Abuse Survivors & Other Problems


Standing up for my son

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In that phone call the other night with my mom, she reprimanded, yelled at me, and belittled me for standing up for my 2 1/2 year old little boy; a child who is like a sponge and takes in everything he sees, hears and feels. She yelled at me for standing up to my dad. She said how he needed to be yelled at and given discipline. Well there's a difference between discipline and RAGE!

I was at my dad's house about a month ago. We were all hanging out together in the family room talking and the guys were watching a tv show called Survivors. Sach went over to the window and was about to touch a small vase with flowers in it. My dad shot out of his seat, an older man who complains about his knees and has had a hard time walking on his feet, he threw himself at Sach and leaned over right to Sach's face and blasted at him "NOOOOOO", then he continued yelling at the top of his voice, a rage-fully angry man who his anger terrifies me. He didn't stop yelling and explaining in rage not to touch things and that he can't do this or that. He had no right to yell at my son, and even more so to scream at him and continue his rageful blasting on a 2 1/2 year old child who hadn't even done anything yet, and he had absolutely no reason for yelling. He just yelled.

My brother Pete jumped at him and pulled him away from Sach, and said "stop, Dad, calm down". I jumped to him and stood right next to my dad and said, "DAD STOP it!"

My dad was taken aback. He wasn't used to being yelled at for having such rage, but this is my 2 year old little boy. He is not my dad's child to get after. He is mine, and I am a victim of child abuse; from my mom, my grandmother and my dad and I refuse to let my little Sach, for as long as I am able and alive, to allow him to also be a victim of child abuse.

I took Sach away from the situation and walked on the other side of the room. He was crying, tears down his face, and shaking all over his body. He was terrified, and I just comforted him, rocked him, and said, "it's okay hunny. You're okay. You're Grandpop's very angry. Mommy loves you!" After that scene I took Sach upstairs right away. I didn't talk to my dad. I just walked away.

I was upstairs with Sach for about an hour. My brother Pete came up to hang out with us for a little bit. He's the one who felt that the way that dad was WAS abusive; including me. We talked about it. You can discipline your child, but you DO NOT do it by scaring them half to death!

The phone call with my mom 2 nights ago, has only proved to me that not only can I NOT trust my dad alone with Sach, I also cannot trust my mom. She stood up for my dad having rage at Sach. I told her he was angry, really angry and it terrified Sach. She said, "you don't yell at your father." This is the same she feels about herself. She does not want me standing up to her for having abused me all my life. She thinks it is completely normal and natural to abuse your child, and she is in absolute and complete denial.

Well after knowing that she really feels this way, it only shows to me that I cannot trust Sach alone with my mom either. She drinks until she passes out, she also has the same level of rage and doesn't listen to children's feelings, lies to herself and to the children around her how she feels, and wants to diminish me and Sach for being sensitive to their rage. I will not let Sach be treated the way I was. I was going to ask my mom to babysit Sach so I could take a Communication Course Dec. 5th and 6th, but after this conversation, there is no way in hell I feel it is safe to leave him with her. I cannot trust her.

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