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Question for those in long term relationships

Abuse Survivors & Other Problems


Question for those in long term relationships

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I'm in a 6 mo. relationship with a really nice guy. It is my first relationship in a very long time where the guy is in the same city as me, so I see him two-three times a week. The problem I'm having revolves around physical intimacy. My guy kisses me, hugs me, goes in for some action, and I just want to pop him on the nose. I don't know if it is me trying to adjust to the new high level of closeness, or maybe I just don't like this guy? Know what I mean? Is my gut acting out of trying to protect myself, or because it's not used to all the physical attention?

I should add that he has seriously never been anything other than kind in bed. I've had problems with flashbacks with him in the past, and problems with him being a little too rough in bed. Both we've talked about and dealt with. This, though, I am not sure its the right time to bring up one more thing that ties back to my abusive past. That line gets old, you know?

Any insight?
  • ANy problem youre having should be addressed. maybe discuss this with a therapist or a friend you trust first? I know where youre coming from though, right now any man that looks at me in a sexual way i feel disgust towards.
  • It's perfectly normal to feel that you wanna hit someone that you get intimate with... it's just another 'fun' after-effect of the abuse.

    Just take it slowly honey, and only do things at the pace you're comfortable with.

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